Things get clearer and simpler as you get older!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

ROXANNE, a tribute from the heart.

When I met Roxanne I was a 31 year old widower with a seven year old daughter, Wendy. We had lost our wife/mother and daughter/ little sister in a car accident that had hospitalized both of us as well. In hind sight to say we were coping would have been an overstatement of momentous proportions. A visit to the temple with a promise that someone was prepared and waiting; but that is a separate story that will come later…I hope. Our needs were many; some that we did not even know at the time, but included mommy/wife, female role model/confidant, friend/friend, teacher/companion, and the list goes on.

Roxanne was the one, she “shined” in the crowd; the pursuit was complicated by the fact she was engaged to someone else (another story) but after seeing her for 42 days straight we were married (sealed) on the 43rd day. There we were Bob and Wendy marring Roxanne, Erin and Matthew, and vice-versa.

Roxanne bravely moved into “Katie’s Home” with “Katie’s Friend’s” with “Katie’s furniture” and etc. did I say bravely think about it, I did not appreciate how courageous she was until years later when looked back and shuddered with fear should someone ask the same of me. She insisted that all remain the same for Wendy’s sake and it was since it was all new to Erin and Matt a change would just be one more hurdle. She smiled her beautiful, and I must say genuine smile, at church as she faced the some of the Sisters who were concerned more for Wendy’s well being then they were in welcoming Bob’s new wife. She took her place and did her wifely and motherly duties with skill and much love and caring while standing her ground not taking any “crap” holding her own and maintaining her individual identity. Did I forget to mention that she was also surrounded by two (2), very interested families, mine and Katie’s (another story), both ready to lovingly protect Wendy, (as it should be) at the first scent of favoritism, WOW! I am not saying anyone was unfriendly in fact it was just the opposite but it scares me just to think about it.

Through it all we loved and laughed and fought and yelled and made up and in spite of my not seeing any of this she managed to raise three wonderful, beautiful and talented children. Proudly we talked about our 12 gifted, intelligent and beautiful Grandchildren. I have watched Roxanne wearing white jeans and a white top go out in the back yard and dig a hole, fill it with water, mix in the dirt she dug out and then set down in the middle of it while her granddaughters applied the mud to her face and hair carefully and gently at first with the end result being Grandpa took the hose to all 4 of them before they were allowed to enter the house again. She takes all year spending countless hours selecting an individual Christmas ornament for every member of our family, carefully writing a message and dated each one and then attaches them to a gift or card. She spends hours creating name poems for each child and grandchild, what about the coloring books for each grandchild that she makes using pictures that she has turned into negatives leaving the outline of them or another family member to be colored in. 60-70 pages each.

She is one of the most spiritual people I know and is an example to me each day of how I should be living. I cannot even begin to imagine what or where the Five (Roxanne, Wendy, Erin, Matt and I) would be had she not been brave enough to accept the challenge and “stay the course”, I will be eternally grateful that she did and I give thanks every single day (even the bad ones) that my Heavenly Father guided my blundering self to the “ONE”.

Tomorrow February 5th will be our 30th anniversary and I am afraid I will fall short in paying a tribute to someone so deserving of more. I LOVE YOU ROX !!! Thank you from my heart, you complete me.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Go Figure (My First Blog)

For those of you who know me you will know that I am always trying to lose weight and at the same time keep in shape. Lately those efforts have taken me to Thunderbird Park at 59th Ave and Pinnacle Peak Road some 3 or 4 times a week to climb the three small peaks in the trail system. When I hike I always say "Good morning or Hello Or How are you today" it makes me feel good and others seem happy to respond; I believe it makes a difference.
Recently however it has started to irritate me when some of my fellow hikers don't even grunt or they even avoid eye contact. First I checked my clothing, armpits and other areas that might offend and I was okay. I actually stopped some happy responders and ask them to check me out and got about a 7 out of 10. Next I thought that maybe they all had Them I-Pod things and couldn't hear but as I did my sampling I found that most all listeners were responders. Maybe I thought it has to do with geographics, you know south trail vs. north trail, so I began alternating my hikes and 2 things became apparent; first the north trail did not have even one pile of dog "poop" (its the same spelled frontwards and backwards just like Bob, Huh!) that a hiker would have to step over while the south trail would have as many as 11 "poop piles" on a given day, okay we'll store that information for now. At the same time I was counting "poop" I was also counting responders. The "poopy" south trail was up to around 94% of happy responders while the clean north trail was struggling to get above 82% responders. Odd? Coincidence? Strange? Worrisome? Yep all of the above. Today I took the time to hike both trails, yep all 6 or 7 miles, and it is undeniable, as this study comes to an end, people who bag their dog's "poop" are: first; not as happy as non-baggers, next; the baggers (those carrying little bags of "poop") are not as trusting as "Glad to see ya" or as ready to share a glance, and finally, the baggers seem that they have something they aren't willing to share. Maybe there is a market for that stuff or maybe it's the spouse's or significant other's (this political correctness is a pain, but that's another story) dog and they're just "ticked off".
Don't get me wrong I do appreciate those who clean up after their dog, it just worries me why a clean trail is not a happy trail. So tomorrow when I go hiking I'll be armed with those Fry's bags ready to pounce, grab and turn wrong-side out, then tie in a knot, then carry to a proper receptacle (hell, I 'm already getting mad and I don't even own a dog). Maybe I'll be accepted by the "baggers" and they will speak to me. I may carry a bag when I go shopping or dancing. Just want to know why they won't say good mornin', maybe I have over thought this thing? Hell maybe I'm a politician and just coming out of the closet....Go figure......