Things get clearer and simpler as you get older!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

ROXANNE, a tribute from the heart.

When I met Roxanne I was a 31 year old widower with a seven year old daughter, Wendy. We had lost our wife/mother and daughter/ little sister in a car accident that had hospitalized both of us as well. In hind sight to say we were coping would have been an overstatement of momentous proportions. A visit to the temple with a promise that someone was prepared and waiting; but that is a separate story that will come later…I hope. Our needs were many; some that we did not even know at the time, but included mommy/wife, female role model/confidant, friend/friend, teacher/companion, and the list goes on.

Roxanne was the one, she “shined” in the crowd; the pursuit was complicated by the fact she was engaged to someone else (another story) but after seeing her for 42 days straight we were married (sealed) on the 43rd day. There we were Bob and Wendy marring Roxanne, Erin and Matthew, and vice-versa.

Roxanne bravely moved into “Katie’s Home” with “Katie’s Friend’s” with “Katie’s furniture” and etc. did I say bravely think about it, I did not appreciate how courageous she was until years later when looked back and shuddered with fear should someone ask the same of me. She insisted that all remain the same for Wendy’s sake and it was since it was all new to Erin and Matt a change would just be one more hurdle. She smiled her beautiful, and I must say genuine smile, at church as she faced the some of the Sisters who were concerned more for Wendy’s well being then they were in welcoming Bob’s new wife. She took her place and did her wifely and motherly duties with skill and much love and caring while standing her ground not taking any “crap” holding her own and maintaining her individual identity. Did I forget to mention that she was also surrounded by two (2), very interested families, mine and Katie’s (another story), both ready to lovingly protect Wendy, (as it should be) at the first scent of favoritism, WOW! I am not saying anyone was unfriendly in fact it was just the opposite but it scares me just to think about it.

Through it all we loved and laughed and fought and yelled and made up and in spite of my not seeing any of this she managed to raise three wonderful, beautiful and talented children. Proudly we talked about our 12 gifted, intelligent and beautiful Grandchildren. I have watched Roxanne wearing white jeans and a white top go out in the back yard and dig a hole, fill it with water, mix in the dirt she dug out and then set down in the middle of it while her granddaughters applied the mud to her face and hair carefully and gently at first with the end result being Grandpa took the hose to all 4 of them before they were allowed to enter the house again. She takes all year spending countless hours selecting an individual Christmas ornament for every member of our family, carefully writing a message and dated each one and then attaches them to a gift or card. She spends hours creating name poems for each child and grandchild, what about the coloring books for each grandchild that she makes using pictures that she has turned into negatives leaving the outline of them or another family member to be colored in. 60-70 pages each.

She is one of the most spiritual people I know and is an example to me each day of how I should be living. I cannot even begin to imagine what or where the Five (Roxanne, Wendy, Erin, Matt and I) would be had she not been brave enough to accept the challenge and “stay the course”, I will be eternally grateful that she did and I give thanks every single day (even the bad ones) that my Heavenly Father guided my blundering self to the “ONE”.

Tomorrow February 5th will be our 30th anniversary and I am afraid I will fall short in paying a tribute to someone so deserving of more. I LOVE YOU ROX !!! Thank you from my heart, you complete me.


  1. Happy Anniversary! I am also very happy that you have eachother! I am also thankful for Erin and Matthew. I love you both. Good one Dad, enjoy George and Reba!

  2. Bob....that was just beautiful. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. Happy Anniversary to one of my very favorite couples.

  3. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. Thank you for sharing, Uncle Bob! Happy Anniversary you two crazy kids--we wish you many, many, many more!

  4. Thanks for the beautiful write up about beautiful mom. I've never had any other family, so however screwed up you all may be, that is my normal and I'm immeasurably thankful for that. Love that song too by the way.

  5. Beautiful tribute to a very brave woman. I remember when all of that happened, it seemed quite normal to me as a little kid, but to think about it now as an adult, all of you were so STRONG and BRAVE. I don't know Erin and Matt as adults, but I do know you are lucky to have Wendy. She is one the most amazing, strong, and beautiful women I know. Good job!

  6. I just found your blog so this is a late comment but I had to say I what a beautifuly written post about your family. It brought many tears to my eyes. You sure do have a great family and I love them very much!

  7. I usually refuse to look at blog's, facebook, etc. but when Char told me you have a blog I had to check it out. Well done!!! I have never told you and I don't know if this is the time (oh well) but I just wanted you to know that you are one of my biggest heros and greatest examples in this life and I have always looked up to you. Thank you for being you! Happy 30th Sterling T. Lyman

    PS We still need to go hunting together sometime